The Wink

Today was... interesting.

It was strangely different? 

You know how everyday seems like the same thing over and over again,

so when something new interrupts your usual flow... its just is, weird?

Well today was one of those days.

Not bad, not good.... just different than the usual.

Today I was asked a question that I wasn't expecting

Or more like, a question I haven't figured out how to answer yet.

Especially since, once again... I have begun re-questioning myself...

or more like continuing the investigation into who I truly am.

It was a series of basic questions

Ones I have answered so many times, that at this point it should have been, and almost was, an automatic response.... but then I started thinking.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

No

"Do you want a boyfriend?"

pause.... (in my head I am thinking, umm no)

No

"Why not?"

pause....(here I am thinking about all the directions I could take this answer)

Because.....

"Is there any guy with potential?"

(absolutely no pause) No

"Why do you say that?"

Just not attracted to them

"Well what's your type?"

Pause... (and yet again there are so many directions I could take this answer)

I don't really have a type-(which is actually very truthful)

I'm not sure exactly why I froze up the way I did.

I have answered these questions my entire life.

But for some reason I could picture myself sitting in my grandma's kitchen and being drilled with the exact same questions and bewilderment in why I don't have a boyfriend.

All of these would be a lot easier if

1) I was out

and 

2) I actually understood at what degree I am "out"

and 

3) I finally understand myself

I feel like once I have decided on an answer, something comes up, and I begin to question again.

I think I was hit on today.

But I am not sure.

I approached the counter to be welcomed by a giant smile and then... a wink

But I am not sure about the wink because

a) it could have been a one eyed blink, and not on purpose

or 

b) it could have been a response to me, because sometimes I accidentally blink with one eye and people think I am winking at them all the time

But then after I ordered... they were all sad and dashed away before I even had the chance to test my flirt.

If it was a wink. I completely failed. And was the biggest loser ever.

The least I could have done was say, "Hey, how are you doing today?" or something like that before saying "Can I have a Topanga canyon on wheat?" ugh.

Kelsi, your pathetic.

That would have been pretty cool if it was a wink :)

So... back to my obsession.

I found these pictures by Cassie Papas

She has some pretty cool other photography, I really enjoy her style.

I thought these were funny...

I feel like Leisha is saying, "seriously ilene? WTF are you thinking?"

Exactly what all the fans are saying while they watch the interrogation tapes

And this picture just displays her beautiful smile...
I also found these pictures (yes, I went on a Leisha Hailey picture spur, but don't make fun.. it was for a legit reason... I was getting tired of the same pictures popping up on my screensaver)

I had already seen the photos from this photoshoot, but I came across the personal blog of the AfterEllen photographer and she made some beautiful black and whites that I haven't seen before...

You can check 'em all out here

So today was an interesting day...

I should have expected it when I woke up to a cloudy morning

not good or bad, just different.

My iced soy latte is running out which means I should get some real work done while I still have the caffeine pumping through my veins.

Peace

xoxo

-K