Island

Do you ever feel like you are on an island?

I know, super cliche.... actually one of the most overused cliches out there... but maybe its overused because it's true?

I think since I have been home I have especially felt this way.

The other week I found this picture and was automatically drawn to it. 

Its not a special place, just a simple picture of something that someone thought was beautiful.

But I really like it.

The picture was simply titled, Small Island in Lower Saranac Lake.

I think this feeling of "isolation" has been exaggerated ever since the happening on Tachycardia Tuesday.

I have been told before that I project my own thoughts of how someone perceives me onto them.

But I don't think this is true.

Anyways, I have kind of felt a different vibe with my mom, the one thing I was worried would happen.

This is the main reason I have been trying to get the courage up to talk to my sister, she was supposed to be the first person I told... but it didnt work out that way.

Now I am having hesitation, because I am truly worried this "awkward" feeling will come between my sister and I too.

I would be devastated.

We have such a close relationship, I would be heartbroken.

So, for now I feel like I am on an island.

With this "reveal" I have somewhat isolated myself from my family, from my mother.

Sometimes it's nice to be alone.

I have always had a slight fascination with islands, ever since I was little.

Probably the reason I pulled this picture off the internet originally.

In a way, I have always thought it would be cool to live on an island.

But it is kind of lonely.

I don't want to be in this "island."

No matter how beautiful, how amazing, how accepting it is.

I need to make sure I am up for a lifestyle or a life that may place me on an island when it comes to my family and friends.

At least until I have the opportunity to hangout in west hollywood or make friends involved in the same lifestyle... I know then I will feel content and "belonging" but until then... this will be my life.

Hope all is well

xoxo

-K