girls

Sometimes... I really wonder if its worth being a lesbian, for all this girl drama.
I mean, seriously.
girls are so dramatic.
I swear, if they weren't so damn cute... I would be over this.
But I can't even imagine being straight.
girls are so fucking gorgeous.
I mean come onnnnnn
So I guess this only means one thing,
I'll be dealing with this drama forever.
But I guess think about it..
girls and drama, no girls and no drama
I DEFINITELY pick the first choice ;)

mmmashup

JackJohnson, Missy Higgins and Wyclef Jean (Norwegian-Recycling)

fresh start

So its January 2011.

"Where the fuck have you been Kelsi?"

Thats what you might be asking, well those one or two people who actually read this.

And my answer is simple,

I was in an unhealthy, self-obsessing, overly stressful, time-consuming, deeply obsessive, disgustingly life encompassing, black hole of a relationship.

But good news.. Im free?!

Oh man... where do I even start?

It was the most powerful thing I have ever experienced, a love like that.

I didn't even know that it was possible to feel the way I did.

Head over heals doesn't even begin to describe that feeling of oozing insides I experienced

After a bad break up, many people say, "that was a waste of a year!" cough.. my ex.. cough.

But I don't feel that way at all.

It was one of the best years of my life, I experienced an extraordinary love.

The future felt obvious, we were going to get married, we were going to have a family. duh.

But now Im sitting her with a promise ring, an empty bed, and picking up the pieces.

Thats the hardest part of a relationship I think, picking up the pieces.

Your whole life revolved around this one person, and suddenly they are gone. Just gone.

Cold turkey.

That was her approach. No contact. Nothing.

Changed her phone number, blocked me on FB, deleted EVERYTHING.

Not only did I have to say goodbye to my love, but my best friend too.

How did she do it?

She has got to miss me too, right?

Or am just a total wimp?

She went from my everything, to my nothing.

So here I am, a month and....12 days later trying to put myself back together.

Im doing good I think.

I think.

I mean, I haven't cried in a long time. Thats a good start, right?

And Im trying to be happy and just move forward.

There is a cute girl out there for me, a cute girl who has everything I want in a perfect partner.

There was something always missing, for a year, something never there.

Now I can find someone that fills that gap, and then some more.

So here I am moving forward.

And yeah, I'm actually smiling while Im writing this.

Because its exciting, I get to start over again.

So lets get this fucking started!

:P

Ch-ch-check it out

Check me out on Tumblr sometime

Or maybe shoot me a question/comment on formspring

Hot Gf

I just read my last post, and it was really sad and depressing....

well, thats sad... and depressing.

So on a lighter note, I'm happy.

I think its a good sign when someone you are talking to on the phone says you sound happy.

Im not sure how someone can sound happy, without them actually blurting out the three word sentence.

Is it tones?

Or maybe stories?

It could be how excited you are to share news and stories, and funny, happy stories at that.

So anyways, apparently I'm happy.

Do you wanna know whyyyyyyya?

Well Im going to tell you anyways

Im in L.O.V.E

So corny, right?

But I just felt like I should share...

It been the most amazing 4 months of my life, and I think its a good sign when you are able to hear that in my voice.

So I know the reason why I sound happy over the phone,

Its because Im in the most extraordinary relationship ever.

Oh, and one more thing, I have a really hot girlfriend :D

Ramble #1

Today was one of those days...

when you really question who your friends are

when you really question who you are

Today sucked, to put it lightly.

Yeah, things can always get worse, but I can still say it sucked.

I don't want to ramble about nonsense that truly wont matter in a week or so.

But I just needed to vent, to something.... something that wouldn't judge.

There are times, especially lately, when I have just wanted to share something with someone, but I had no one to talk to about it.

I have many people in my life, many people I care about, and I love.

But sometimes there are certain things you just need to get off your chest, and you don't want someone's opinion about it.

Or you can't tell them because it brings up a whole other issue that you don't want them knowing about, for good, not bad.

I don't know what this means

what does it mean?

when I have no one to talk to, but I have so much to share.

I guess I feel like no one would want to listen

and the information would be unnecessary

which is one of my greatest fears, and it happened today.

I think thats why it hurt me so much.

but thats besides the point.

I don't like this walking on egg shells thing.

It's getting old really fast.

Is that a red flag?

I know this blog makes absolutely no sense, but I don't give a shit, because Im the only one who reads it.

So did this post make me feel better, no

did it allow me to vent, no not really because I can't form words to talk about this subject, for some reason its too hard to articulate

but I got it out

so that counts right?